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Was it not Socrates who said?
“All men’s souls are Immortal
But the souls of the Righteous
Are Immortal and Divine”

I guess so for the producers of “300” told me so. And what does that mean, exactly? I know not but judging from the computer generated blood spilt on the green-screen sound stages used to bring the epic, sword-and-sandals film “Immortals” to life, the quote has something to do with going to be with the gods if you smash in enough skulls.

The Divine here is a mortal named Theseus (Henry Cavill), who has been guided and trained by the mighty Zeus (Luke Evans) so that he may take up arms against the evil King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) and stop the tyrant from obtaining the Epirus Bow. To drive home just how bad Hyperion is: He has a face scar and smashes the testicles of the guys ON HIS ARMY!!

In the world of “Immortals,” the gods may only watch mankind’s struggles and must never intervene. This is the Law. Whose law? Who knows? But it makes for a longer movie if the Greek gods remain on Mount Olympus and stay out of it for a while. The gods may only assist if the imprisoned Titans are released but guess what? The wretched King Hyperion wishes to release the Titans to exact revenge for the death of his wife and child. Only our hero Theseus, with the help of virgin oracle named Phaedra (Frido Pinto) who turns out to be rather “easy” for a virgin oracle, stands in Hyperion’s way.

“Immortals” is a sort of companion piece to “300” and doesn’t ever try to hide this fact. The action/violence is presented in much the same manner with the many side-scrolling shots featuring limbs and heads being severed in various degrees of slow motion. This time around it seems that the stakes had to be raised and the blood spills even heavier as some foes are actually smashed into bits. This is a detriment, however, as the effects can get so outlandish that it is impossible to not think that you are merely watching something animated in a computer.

The look of the film is immaculate, gorgeous at times. This is the touch brought to the project by director Tarsem Singh who has a keen eye for production design that is solely his own. This, matched with the J. Lo mind game psycho flick “The Cell” and incredible “The Fall” (one of my favorite films of the last 10 years), displays a singular vision from the director. The costumes, sets, props, locations: All are given a specific feel and detailed shine. It is off putting that “Immortals” pulls so heavily from Zack Snyder’s spin on action that was showcased in “300”. It plays like Speilberg riffing on Kubrick in “A.I”.

The cast is more than game with the except of Stephen Dorff who plays the thief Starvos. He does nothing wrong but simply doesn’t look the part and is miscast. Cavill is strong leading man as Theseus-chisled chin and all. It’s easy to see why he was tapped to play the new “Superman” for Zack Snyder. Weird thought: Snyder’s “300” begat “Immortals” which begat Henry Cavill who became Superman for Zack Snyder. Circle of life or Hollywood is incredibly incestuous?

Blu-ray features include:

It’s No Myth
Caravaggio Meets Fight Club: Tarsem’s Vision
Alternate Opening: Young Theseus
Alternate Ending: This Is Our Last Embrace
Alternate Ending: Theseus Kills Hyperion
Deleted Scenes
Immortals: Gods & Heroes published by Archaia Entertainment
Theatrical Trailer
Sneak Peek

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