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I genuinely have to applaud Kevin Smith for his blatant disregard for rational thought. His chutzpah. His balls of steel.

With Tusk he came up with a crazy, bat-shit idea during some random podcast. The thought actually tailed off of a real-life (but faked) post on Craig’s List searching for a roommate who would live in an apartment for free as long as they dressed and acted like a walrus for two hours every night. How about a horror film where an eloquent speaking nut bag who is emotionally attached to animals abducts a cocky douchebag and turns him into a walrus? I mean he physically builds a walrus suit, sticks stated douchebag in it and chains him to a wall to feed him fish and watch him flop around. For an entire film. And kinda/sorta be serious about it.

So Smith, whose continuous spew of words illustrate the fact that he is brimming deep with ideas and opinions, not only has this bizarre idea but he goes to the extent of writing it down on paper. Scrapping up finances to lens the thing. Hiring actors (some good ones at that) and letting them actually read and commit these ideas and thoughts to memory.

THEN he actually films it!! And you, oh lucky observer, has the gilded opportunity to witness this gem of “WTF” Cinema. The man known for Clerks and Mallrats and long rants documented on Smodcasts and his Evening With Kevin Smith series has proven that he is audacious and relentless in nothing else if not sticking with a project to the end. I applaud you, Mr. Smith.

Now is Tusk a good movie?

Unfortunately my answer is no and it is strictly due to execution. I’m all for original thought and love the concept of a hybrid of The Human Centipede body gore fused with the clash of men found in There Will be Blood but Smith falls victim to his own shortcomings again.

Too much talking – not enough showing. He has always relied on his words. It works when it’s two dudes standing around outside of a convenience store but the results are wildly mixed when it’s a horror film. Not enough action while the villain sits around waxing poetic.
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Not that the waxing isn’t entertaining in fits and starts. Michael Parks is a Tarantino vet (Kill Bill, From Dusk ‘til Dawn, Django Unchained) and is given plenty of Tarantino-esque lines to deliver. As the villain Howard Howe he brings a perfect menace but the film is front ended with that menace. The final act of the film finds Parks too often screaming and clapping as poor Justin Long bellows around in the walrus suit. Long does his best but the lunacy of the concept proves too much to overcome. I started to feel sorry for him after a while.

I will say that Tusk would have worked better had it been about an hour long or part of an  anthology. There isn’t enough here for a full length and the void is filled with pointless dialogue and repetitive scenes of laughable horror that doesn’t ring true. Once a very recognizable face shows up about halfway through the film, the movie loses all steam. I will not ruin who this person is (don’t look on IMDB or you will be spoiled) but he is obviously having a great time. Sad thing is the joke wears thin fast and the rest of the movie becomes lifeless.

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