“Mirror Mirror” is the latest retelling of the Snow White fairy tale that tries desperately to mix High Fantasy, comedy and whimsy. The chemistry unfortunately doesn’t work and the end result is one of the most bizarre children’s films since Robert Altman took a warped crack at “Popeye”.
This kiddie flick is loaded with slapstick and cartoon sound effects fused with over-the-top performances that border on obnoxious. The greatest offender is Julia Roberts who appears to be having a hoot being witchy as the (sort of) Evil Queen. The act is never believable and you can’t help but realize that you are watching Julia Roberts, the actress, parade around in several ornate costumes pretending to be wicked. It reminded me of last year’s Cameron Diaz debacle, “Bad Teacher,” where you are supposed to be entertained out of your shorts because Miss Diaz is saying curse words. Not going to happen.
You know the story so let’s make the synopsis brief. Snow White (Lily Collins) is a lovely, milky skinned princess that lives in a castle with her evil stepmother, the aforementioned dread Queen. White’s father has been dead for some time now and the kingdom has been decimated by the Queen’s lavish lifestyle choices.
There is a handsome Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) who visits the castle, looking for adventure. He finds Snow to be ever so enchanting and falls immediately but the Queen wants him for her own and orders the young princess dead. She is trotted out to the woods by the bumbling Brighton (Nathan Lane) who doesn’t kill her, of course, and takes back fake organs and you know the rest. And there are seven dwarves, all with new and uninteresting names, and they all work together to defeat the awful Queen.
One of the many things going against “Mirror Mirror” is the flood of Snow White projects hitting Hollywood. With “Once Upon a Time” already on the TV every Sunday, the direct-to-video release of the animated “Grimm’s Snow White” and the upcoming “Snow White and the Huntsman,” I am already suffering from Fairy Tale Fatigue. “Mirror Mirror” will be hurt by the fact that the “Huntsman” project is much more anticipated and actually is enjoying a good buzz the streets. The fact that Nathan Lane is the faux assassin here while “Huntsman” has Chris Hemsworth (“Thor”) to do its dirty work is a fantastic living symbol of the differences between the two projects. (Sorry, Mr. Lane. I do love you.)
“Mirror, Mirror” was directed by the visual auteur Tarsem Singh and the film oozes his style from the elaborate costumes to the detailed sets. He is a true marvel at creating vivid world and this film is absolutely gorgeous. The Indian filmmaker gives the classic tale a decidedly Bollywood feel (it even ends with a grand dance number) but the spin gives the entire project an awkward feel.
The cast is game and the dwarves have a few cute moments. Miss Collins has few wooden moments (Maybe they should have cast her in “Pinocchio”!!! Get it?…sorry) but she sure reminds one of a young Audrey Hepburn at a few angles. But nothing can really save it and we can chalk this on up as “for the wee ones only.”
One last thing: In the middle of the film the Prince decides to go in the forest to find some bandits and leaves the castle. Then we go to Snow and the dwarves as we see- through montage- Snow learning how to kick ass (balancing on a large stone, sword fighting, trying on clothes). As the montage wears on, Snow gets better and better at these tasks as per the text book. The montage ends and one can presume that a substantial time has pasted but then we see the handsome Prince enter the forest. Meaning the entire montage covered a span of about an hour!!!!Making it the Stupidest Montage in the History of Cinema.