Published on November 19th, 2011 | by dvdpinson0
New Year’s Eve: The Movie? Then why not Arbor Day: The Motion Picture?
From the makers of “Valentine’s Day” comes the new romantic comedy “New Year’s Eve”. Read it aloud if you have to and allow it to sink in. Maybe say it to yourself in the mirror to really drive it home. It’s happening. On December 9th we will be able to witness a film that features a group of attractive actors at various parties on New Year’s Eve. Ashton Kutcher is in this one too. Exciting.
There have been plenty of films in the past to borrow from our National celebratory days. “Halloween”,” Groundhog’s Day” and “Independence Day” have been covered. “April Fool’s Day” and “Mother’s Day” have been turned into low budget horror flicks while Eli Roth gave us a fantastic little fake trailer for “Thanksgiving” that played in between the films of “Grindhouse” as few years back. Christmas has been more than exhausted. (“Christmas Vacation,” “White Christmas.” “A Christmas Story” etc.)
If New Year’s Eve is on the list of good ideas for a feature-length film then it is safe to say that Hollywood will eventually turn EVERY Holiday into a trite and pappy flick. Nice. Can’t wait.
Here’s a list of plausible pitches for pictures that pertain to this premise.
Columbus Day: We go another way with this one and it isn’t about Columbus at all. It’s a horror film. No mail. No trash pick up. No federal employees?? What are we to do? Probably just get bitter because we have to work.
Arbor Day: A movie about trees. The planting of trees. The cultivation of trees. We can get Terrence Malick to direct (“The Tree of Life,” “The Thin Red Line”) because he likes to film trees. All of his films have amazing tree footage. Maybe go “no people” on this one. All trees. I’m sure Malick would be all for it.
Veteran’s Day: As long as Oliver Stone doesn’t get his hands on this one, it’ll be good.
Chinese New Year: Same exact script as “New Year’s Day” but with an all-Chinese cast. I guess we can let Ashton be in it too. This is sort of “his thing”.
Martin Luther King Day: I suggest Tyler Perry take this one. Solely because it would then be entitled: “Tyler Perry’s Martin Luther King Day” and that would be awesome.
Memorial Day: As long as Oliver Stone doesn’t get his hands on this one, it’ll be good.
Flag Day: I think this is an obvious opportunity to make an “Independence Day” sequel. Has anyone ever figured out why they called this movie “ID4”? That doesn’t really make since. Anyway, I’m sure we can get Roland Emmerich to direct this one if we promise him he can blow up the White House again. No aliens this time, giant moths. Because they eat fabric. Flag Day is on June 14th. Maybe we can call it “FD14”?
You have any to add? Let me know…