CinemaStance Dot Com

fan·tas·tic

/fanˈtastik/

adjective

  1. imaginative or fanciful; remote from reality.

“novels are capable of mixing fantastic and realistic elements”

synonyms:          fanciful, extravagant, extraordinary

  1. extraordinarily good or attractive.

“your support has been fantastic”

synonyms:          marvelous, wonderful, sensational, outstanding, superb, super, excellent
24_0002_D-(merged)

Given that this is the definition, I do not believe that this word has a place in my review. It does not align with the truth. There is absolutely nothing “Fantastic” going on here. So I will be referring to the movie simply as 4 here in our brief discussion.
a2
4 is final, unquestionable proof that these characters cannot translate well to the big screen. In 2005 this was established with the Chris Evans/Jessica Alba version that suffered from the same exact problems: bland characters, little action, all exposition and very little climax. The sequel focused on another character all together with the 4 being supporting characters in their own movie.

So here’s a (sarcasm) GREAT idea then~~ Why not reboot ten years later?

Was not the public clamoring for more 4? With a superhero flick coming out every 6 weeks, were you not wondering why we don’t have MORE superhero movies?  Did you not lay awake countless nights lusting for a version of 4 where they are teenagers? You know, because then they’d be younger.

At the time of this writing, 4 is making news for being terrible. I don’t want to just add to the pile but I have no choice. This movie is terrible.

All build up with almost zero payoff. The movie suffers from a lack of activity. WE DON’T NEED ANOTHER ORIGIN STORY!!!!!!!!!!  With these quick do-overs, why re-tell the origin? The Amazing Spider-Man set this standard. Remember when you re-learned that Peter Parker was bitten by the spider and woke up with superpowers and then Uncle Ben died? No?

This takes an already lazy exercise (remakes within a 10 year window) and makes it even MORE LAZY. Very little thought and effort.

They do change the origin up a bit (pissing off the die hard fans) but it doesn’t matter. There is a lot of talking and boring character work that envelopes the first hour of the film and then it just ends after a couple of minutes of “action”.

I cannot remember when I last sat in a theater and got halfway through the climax of a film and was shocked to realize that this was the actual excuse for an ending. It didn’t seem possible. Yet there they were: the final credits.
a3
So Fox Studios, what have we learned?

  1. Retaining the rights to characters is not a good reason to make a movie. Roger Corman taught us all that with a version of 4 back in 1994. If you don’t know what to do with The Thing and Ms. I Can’t See You, then set them free.
  2. Tell your friends at Marvel and DC that we are getting worn out with all the superheroes. Antman was received with a shrug of the shoulders and this is being received with pitchforks and torches waving in the air.

4 is a great example of Superhero Fatigue. I can’t wait to see what happens now that there are 27 films in the pipeline set for the next 4 years and we, the ticket buying masses, are sick of them. The bubble has burst. And I will be happily embracing the Recession.

Leave a Reply