Olive Films is releasing an interesting curiosity to Blu-ray on June 23rd. Anyone remember Stone Cold, the action flick starring Seattle Seahawks linebacker Brain Bosworth as an undercover agent working to infiltrate a ring of sadistic motorcycle enthusiasts? If you do, you may be in the minority.
The flick wasn’t a blockbuster and remains something of an eccentric relic of the era. It’s absolutely ridiculous and lunk-headed, but it’s never boring and features great stunts as well as some big laughs (although many are unintentional). Those who enjoy cheeseball movies will be thrilled with the disc and its surprisingly sharp picture quality.
To put it all in perspective, over-the-top action movies were a staple of the 80s, but by 1991, one could see tastes starting to shift away. Sure, Terminator 2: Judgment Day was one of the biggest movies of the year, but for every one hit like that one or Out For Justice, you’d get a bunch of underperformers along the lines of Double Impact, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Hudson Hawk and Suburban Commando.
Both Cannon and Orion Pictures (who produced many movies of this ilk) were feeling the pinch and on the verge of bankruptcy. Sylvester Stallone was less than a year away from his Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot debacle and Schwarzenegger had The Last Action Hero on the near horizon. While there would be a few more genre hits, it would soon be a lot harder for action films to make a box-office mark.
However, that didn’t stop producers from trying. Attempting to inject younger blood into the format, ex-NFL pro Brain Bosworth takes the lead as Joe Huff, a mullet-haired cop who plays by his own rules. While under suspension for doling out his own brand of justice, he’s manipulated by a government agent and forced to go undercover.
Using the new moniker John Stone, he must ingratiate himself into “The Brotherhood.” They’re a white supremacist biker gang with ties to the mob, led by the sadistic Chains (Lance Henriksen) and his trusted henchman, Ice (William Forsythe). While they may be scary guys, at least their fashion code is lenient – besides gang jackets, shirts appear to be optional and only occasionally worn. Providing Joe with moral support along the way is a fussy cop named Lance (Sam McMurray).
Have I mentioned that the script is about as intelligent as a bag of hammers? It is also as gratuitous as an action film can be in every possible way. It’s almost as if there was a conscious effort to add a little extra nudity, make the crimes a little nastier and the fights more violent whenever possible, if only to set this title apart from others of its ilk.
Of course, the exaggerated approach results in plenty of head-scratching moments. The biker gang live on a compound with heavily armed guards standing around everywhere (inexplicably, no one in the general area seems to take much notice of this). Chains brings a decapitated human head with him to fancy restaurant, then leaves it behind – and no one seems to care.
Duff may also possess psychic abilities, since he correctly predicts that Chain’s main squeeze will turn on the gang (at this point in the film, there is absolutely no reason for him to be so sure). And beyond the logistical questions, there are amusing scenes like the one in which a character appears utterly shocked and surprised when they learn that John Stone is a fake name (not that Joe Duff sounds any more believable).
That’s not to say that the movie isn’t fun in a twisted sort of way. Director Craig R. Baxley (Action Jackson, Dark Angel) has a background in stunt work and it shows. He makes the most of his budget, and the action is very expertly filmed. There are plenty of big explosions, as well as an entertaining motorcycle chase late in the movie. Perhaps the highlight involves a very impressive helicopter stunt during the climax. Thankfully, the Blu-ray picture is great, with each fiery explosion more colorful than the last.
Unfortunate haircut aside, Bosworth is capable enough as the leading man and he’s surrounded by very talented veterans in supporting roles. Henriksen and Forsythe go all out as the villains in every scene they appear, chewing the scenery for everything it’s worth and almost making up for the weak script. Even McMurray earns a couple of authentic laughs as the hero’s goofy partner.
Perhaps most humorous is the fact that our hero doesn’t actually accomplish much over the course of the story. While Duff is supposed to help protect numerous characters, most are brutally killed. By the end, all that our hero can do is dole out his own equally warped brand of law. The climax is deliriously insane as the bikers go on the rampage in the State Capital building and Duff performs superhuman feats while wiping them out in increasingly violent ways. He seems amused with himself by the end, but it doesn’t really change the fact that he’s completely failed to save lives.
The tone is strangely conservative and terribly wrong-headed about bikers in general, portraying all but one of them with an inhumane and violently psychotic streak. It should be off-putting, but it’s all so ridiculous and dopey that the end result is impossible to take seriously. Stone Cold is not a particularly good movie, but I had a great time watching it and would do so again with some beers and the right kind of friends. If you’re a fan of these types of films, you really can’t go wrong.