FRIEND REQUEST- An Exercise in Relying 100% on the Jump Scare

Did you hear that?

There was a bump, an unknown noise in the night.

The victim goes to take a look. The victim makes sure to leave the lights off because, you know, because it’s more effective that way. There’s a shuffling, a buzzing noise and then the reveal! The flash of a monster coupled with the loudest crescendo of a noise possible that sends a jolt through the body. It’s a good ol’ fashion Jump Scare!!! And if you repeat this scenario about nine times, you have the new excuse for a horror film, Friend Request. It’s lazy, folks. The process and the film. Lazy.

The film is directed by Simon Verhoeven, a man who probably doesn’t believe there is a “b” in the word “subtle” because that would be an understated use of the letter. He gives us a movie filled with nobody characters who die in textbook ways.

It’s hard to give a shit about someone leaving the mortal coil if they only had 3 lines of sloppy dialogue and yet that is what the movie is filled with. Lazy, lazy stuff.

The plot is this: A nice girl befriends an outsider, a sad girl who sits in the corner and stares at her. The sad girl instantly stalks her. The nice girl lies about going out with friends for her birthday and the sad girl finds out about it through Facebook posts. The sad girl kills herself and curses the nice girl for such a terrible act and then all the nice girl’s friends die. SO SHE CAN KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE ZERO FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK!!! (Que sinister laugh).

We see the nice girl’s number of friends go down and down. The real horror. Social media rejection.

Lazy. And dumb.

IF

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