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If or when you ever meet me in the streets please avoid the temptation to throw shit in my eyes. I’m about to say something asinine and would deserve the double dose of septic eye.

Here it goes….. As I watched the new Rom-Com How to Be Single I was reminded of The Beatles. Deeply. Profoundly reminded of The Beatles.

Now before you drink some pear nectar and I make a mad dash to purchase some goggles let me explain. How to Be Single reminds me of the song Tomorrow Never Knows which is famous for being in one note. Oh, how it drones on and on again. This film only concerns itself with single people talking about being single while being single. Together.

And at an hour and fifty minutes (!!!) “It is not dying, it is not dying.”
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At least you can say with certainty that How to Be Single is named accordingly. Alice (Dakota Johnson) breaks up with Josh (Nicholas Braun). She is now single. But how is she to be single? She meets Robin (Rebel Wilson) who is single and they go out on the New York streets to be single with other single people. Alice sleeps with Tom (Anders Holm) who is a professional single guy who doesn’t even have running water in his apartment so women can’t have a  drink a water once the sex is done and they are left with no other option but to leave. Lucy (Alison Brie) is on dating sites trying to actually not be single and single and single and single. Never mind.

Sad thing is there are likable people in the film but they are only given 2 dimensional caricatures to play with. Johnson is talented, dammit, but with this and 50 Shades of Grey she is making poor choices and needs a good talking to. Dakota!! Hold fast and get a new agent. Wilson is proving to be stuck in her funny. She can deliver a laugh but she should try playing an actual human being. Leslie Mann is actually quite good as Meg, the single mother. But it doesn’t matter.

If you love, love, love romantic comedies you may be able to lay down all thoughts and surrender to the void. As for me, I hereby re-name this glorified sitcom How to Be Single-Minded.
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