Published on March 25th, 2012 | by dvdpinson0
“Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked” Reviewed by my inner Five-Year-Old
Sometimes this whole “constantly writing about movies” thing can be difficult. While its great fun to conjure up reasons and theories why “John Carter” doesn’t work and analyze the argument for why “The Huger Games” does, some movies are just not supposed to be critiqued. Case in point: “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,” is firmly aimed at 5 year olds and it really doesn’t matter what I say about it.
This third install in the highly popular franchise holds nothing for me and I could spend the length of this review talking about how poorly constructed the plot is, how sad it is that Jason Lee and David Cross (who seems so very punk rock but contributes to drivel like this?) keep contributing to these messes and how much of a waste of talent it is that Amy Poehler, Anna Faris and Christina Applegate voice the Chipettes but are given absolutely nothing to do. And what is the allure of pop songs re-done with high-pitched voices? It is actually a little creepy to me.
But what’s the point in this exercise? I don’t see one so I’ve decided to tap into my inner-five year old (we’ll call him Lil’ Dave) and let him tell you about “Chipwrecked”. For your notes, I was able to access my inner five year old by taking a half of a Xanax, swigging 2 ounces of 18 year old scotch and eating about a pound and a half of Jelly Belly jelly beans. I then watched the original “Clash of the Titans” and “The Wizard of Oz,” bought a Beenie Baby and some pogs and wrote the following:
Alvin review by Lil’ Davey Pinson.
I loved Alvin. It was funny and so was the other chipmonks. I liked the girl ones and the man in the bird suit was funny. I like it when Alvin sung songs and when the girl ones danced.
In Alvin 3 the chipmonks go on a cruise and Alvin gets in trouble. Then they get off the boat with a kite and so does Dave and the man in the bird suit and they all go to an I land where the meat a girl who has lived there for a long time. Then a volcano explodes and there is treasure and they all sing Lady Gaga songs because they are cool. Alvin fights a honey badger and Simon thinks he is from french.
You will like it.
That’s all I wrote. I woke up the next day in some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pjs and this review written in crayon on the pillow next to me. I find the review brief but concise and I think Lil’ Dave makes a couple good points about Alvin always getting in trouble. He does, you know?
In summery: Your kids will love “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked” and you will not. Just grin and bear it. You dug this grave yourself when you started procreating. Sorry.
Blu-ray Special Features:
· Munk Music & Dance Machine – 16 Songs
· Munking Movies in Paradise Featurette
· Going Overboard with The Chipmunks
· Everybody Munk Now!
· Alan Tudyk, Chipmunk Appearance
· 3 Music Videos / Sing-A-Longs
· Fox Music Channel presents “Growing up Alvin”
· Fox Movie Channel presents ”In Character with Jason Lee”
· 7 Extended Scenes
· 3 Promotional Fun Featurettes
· Chipwrecked: Coloring with Chipmunks App – Blu-ray Excusive