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Remember the convoluted details of 2012’s Prometheus?

Don’t worry. I don’t either. I didn’t remember that Charlize Theron was even in it to be honest. But it was five years ago and Ridley Scott’s first return to the Alien universe was deeply plotted and deeply confusing. He took the idea of a prequel being about “where did this cool alien come from?” and went all the way back to “where did WE ALL COME FROM?”
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Prometheus was bold and exciting in its originality but left way too many questions unanswered. Most important: Why did the Engineers decide to destroy their creations? (Side Note: To be fair, this could be the reason you love what Scott did with Prometheus. Americans like everything spelled out for them and coming up with your conclusions can be exhilarating. Perhaps the Engineers are mirror images of what we perceive a god to be; they destroy and create to keep balance. Or their bored. Or they do not like what we’ve become. Deep thoughts. But is this a summer movie or an art film?)

You will not get the answer in Alien: Covenant. In fact, the Engineers are pretty much scraped, literally and figuratively, as if Scott experimented with creating them and decided on a whim to destroy them.

That sounds familiar for some reason…

What you do get with this chapter, told 38-fucking-years after the original, is more of what you’d expect (and want) from an Alien film directed by Ridley Scott. Exhilarating violence, amazing production design, a badass heroine with short brown hair and James Franco. Maybe Franco isn’t necessary but the other components are delivered.

If you ain’t read me before, I’ll tell you I don’t do synopsis. I believe it ruins the magic. But will be brief in saying: A spaceship on a long journey receives a mysterious transmission from a planet. They go and explore and chaos ensues. And the early chaos is awesome!!

The first encounter with the monsters is the best in the series since James Cameron’s marines blazed laser canons in Aliens. Major tension and copious amounts of blood. Scott takes his time setting up the world and the characters and then unleashes Hell.

But then comes the final act. The last 40 or so minutes of the film becomes sloppy. Aliens are miraculously full-grown in minutes where “the rule” used to be that they had to grow over time. Twists are all too apparent (and I am historically bad at catching them). And the final minutes spent running through the halls and air ducts of a ship are too familiar to create tension. Major letdown after a fantastic start and middle.

It’s still recommended however. There is plenty here to warrant the ticket purchase and the promise of where the story is going in the NEXT FUCKING SEQUEL is enough to make it worth your while.

Oh, and Michael Fassbender kisses himself. Nothing is better than Fassbender on Fassbender action.
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